Black Friday 2018 Wall of Shame

Posted by Justin A. Parr on February 6, 2019

Posted in: Rants. Leave a Comment

Black Friday 2018 Wall of Shame

11/20/2018: Reminder! Black Friday starts on FRIDAY. BOYCOTT STORES THAT DISRESPECT THE AMERICAN TRADITION OF THANKSGIVING, by having Black Friday deals that start on THANKSGIVING.

WALL OF SHAME, 2018:

Wal-Mart
Best Buy
Macy’s
Target
JC Penny
Big Lots
Kohl’s
Belk
Cabellas / Bass Pro
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Dollar General
Five Below
Gamestop
K-Mart
Sears
Michaels
Old Navy
Bealls
DSW
Fry’s Electronics
Lord and Taylor

There are No Tech Deals on Black Friday

Watch out for Personal Computing “Door Busters”

Instead of leaving the comfort of your home on Thanksgiving day, boycott the stores above, and hit the retailers online on Cyber-Monday. You’ll get the same deals, or better, and you can shop from home. Don’t be like the stores above. Don’t use the promise of cheap crap to lure people away from their families on Thanksgiving.

Unprofessional of the Year Award for 2019 Goes to Pizza Hut

Posted by Justin A. Parr on January 6, 2019

Posted in: Good Design - Bad Design, Justinisms, Rants. 1 comment

Unprofessional of the Year Award for 2019 Goes to Pizza Hut

On 1/5/2019, placed an order at 8:00 PM Saturday evening
Delivery time 9:45 PM. OK, they’re busy, but I’ll get my pizza eventually.
9:45 comes and goes, call the store multiple times for a status, and each time, they hang up on me.
Pizza shows up at 11:15 PM. I bet THAT IS SOME HIGH QUALITY EATS. The driver offered to give it to me for free, but at this point, I don’t want whatever it is, that they managed to put in a box and send to me, so I refused the delivery.

It’s not the driver’s fault, obviously, but to show up at someone’s door an hour and a half late, and over 3 hours after I placed my order, with no call back, and no confirmation is completely unprofessional.

The driver alluded to the fact that the manager completely botched things up, but at this point, after multiple calls to the store, and multiple calls to their call center, I really don’t care.

The manager needs to be fired for gross incompetence. There is no excuse for a 3 hour delay.
The driver apologized. I should have told her that you SHOULD NEVER apologize for someone else’s mistake. She should be promoted, for at least attempting to handle the situation.
Whoever was hanging up on customers needs to be summarily fired.

How to Turn a Bad Situation in to a Win:

Bad things happen.

Things can go from “OK” to underwater very quickly, but as the manager, you have to think about what outcome you want, and what swift action you must take to achieve that outcome.

As soon as things started getting bad, the manager should have closed the store. This would have prevented more orders from coming in, and new orders could either be routed to another store, or the customers could simply be told that delivery service is unavailable at this time due to foreseen circumstances, rather than wasting the customers’ time.
Any order delayed more than 15 minutes should necessitate a call to the customer. Most stores have 23 or fewer phone lines (the number of DS0 lines that can be carried on a T1/DS1 line), so it’s entirely possible that the phone system was overloaded… It’s up to the manager to take action! Use a cell phone to start calling customers and setting expectations. Tell the customer that there are unforeseen circumstances, don’t make excuses, set expectations, and then ask what the customer wants: Delayed delivery with a discount, or cancel the order. Give the customer the option. Empowering the customer, and then closely managing expectations is how to turn a losing situation in to a winning one.

Corporate Changes Needed

There was no escalation path. Although you could call the call center, they were only empowered to take an order, and they have no ability to check the order’s status or cancel it. After a couple of phone calls, it became very clear that the call center is only able to transfer you to the local store…. which of course, was hanging up on customers. The call center should be 100% empowered to handle order changes, provide status, and cancel an order. Which brings us to the next problem….
Complete technological failure.
- The Android app failed. The order was originally placed via the Android app, and the app is supposed to provide the user with a near-realtime status. However, the developers built the status function so that it ONLY runs on the newest versions of Android – I have 6.0, and the app simply tells me that my OS is out of date. There is no update for my device, for a newer OS, so the message you’re sending is that, to be a Pizza Hut customer, I have to go out and buy a new phone every year.
- The website failed. After an order is placed, there is no way to get a status or contact the store via the website. In the age of online, you have to call the store, on the phone to get a status.
- The store’s point of sale / order entry system doesn’t seem to integrate with the rest of their technology. How is it that, if by miracle I happen to be running the ordained version of Android, I can get a near-realtime status from the store, but neither the website, nor the call center can? The answer from the website, the call center, and the application was: “Call the store for a status.” Which would be OK, if the phones weren’t jammed. Wouldn’t it be nice for the manager to be able to post a status, so that everyone sees it instantly: “Due to unforseen circumstances, we are running behind. We are not accepting new orders at this time, and if your order is delayed more than 15 minutes, we will be contacting you.” BOOM, everyone is in sync.

Customer Perspective

Aside from being frustrated, I just wanted to get the food that I ordered.

After waiting 3 hours, which was an hour and a half PAST the delivery time, I had no idea if it was still on the way or if the order was cancelled, or if the store was on fire.

This is the point where some kind of escalation should have occurred, but there was no one to whom I could escalate.

After being hung up on, multiple times, and being told that the ONLY way to cancel my order is to call the store (and be hung up on), is extremely frustrating. There is no valid situation, save for life-and-death, that it’s acceptable to hang up on a customer.

I turned off my lights, locked my door, and the delivery driver STILL knocked on my door, over an hour later! How about a phone call?

The offer of getting the pizza for free was the right thing to do, but if things are going so poorly that you’re OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE, how do I even know what’s in that box? I don’t want some half-cooked crap with the wrong toppings.

At this point, as a customer, this seems like a breach of trust.

From my perspective, I can’t trust your service, which means that I also can’t trust your product.

All it would have taken is someone in authority who was empowered to fix the problem, to change that perception.

Kudos to the driver, who at least tried to take care of the situation, but it’s the manager who miserably failed, and with a fairly severe technology deficit, there was no way that anyone could help me, except the manager, who was too busy hanging up on people.

Dear Pizza Hut:

I’m happy to have you hire me to fix these problems for you. I have a long track record of taking a complete train wreck like yours, and building a success story.

Short of that, I will no longer be a Pizza Hut customer.

Update – 2/6/2019

The next day, the credit card charge still indicated ‘pending’, so my wife called the store to discuss the matter with the day manager. She explained that the delivery was refused, and was told “That sounds like a ‘YOU’ problem”, and the day manager hung up on her.
We both submitted corporate complaints, which were simply referred back to local store (GALLOWAY AVE., MESQUITE, TX), and then summarily ignored.
Fortunately, we disputed the charge with the credit card company, and got the charges reversed. My next stop would have been the BBB.
It has been 30 days, and no one has responded to our complaints. This is an unacceptable way to treat customers, and a horrible way to do business.

Update – 4/16/2019

I contacted the store on or about 4/13, just to see if they would be willing to discuss the matter.
When I asked to speak to the manager, I was told I WAS SPEAKING to the manager (this was an obvious lie), and this so-called manager apologized profusely. He assured me that the entire previous management staff had been fired, and that there was all new management in place.
When I asked for the district manager’s contact information, the so-called manager told me he couldn’t give that information out. I said, if he’s doing business, then surely he has a business contact.
He hung up on me
NO. In reality, this was just another sh##bag employee, willing to lie to a customer.
ONLY AFTER I filed a complaint with the BBB (see below) did I get a half-hearted sorta kinda apology.
Now, I’m starting to think that the problem is with Pizza Hut Executive Management, and that the problem is systemic.

Dear Pizza Hut:

WHEN IS IT OK TO LIE TO YOUR CUSTOMERS?

WHEN IS IT OK TO ISSUE A HALF-HEARTED APOLOGY ONLY AFTER I INITIATE A COMPLAINT WITH THE BBB???

I can fix this for you…. you need to hire me in an executive position, so that I can fire everyone in customer service, and everyone in technology, and rebuild both departments.

Oh, and ONE MORE THING. Let’s look at the tail end of that e-mail…

Disclaimer: This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual
and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message. Any disclosure,
copying, or distribution of this message, or taking any action based on it is strictly prohibited.

This is tacked on for the sole purpose of allowing Pizza Hut to bully me in to taking down any copy of this e-mail I may choose to post.

Well…. LET ME EDUCATE YOU.

This entire communication is covered under the Fair Use Act, and I’m publishing it, accordingly
I don’t use Facebook or Google for my blog. Go ahead. Threaten people. There are no robots out there to help you silence me.
If you issue a cease and desist, I will be obliged to post it here. TRY ME.

It’s Sad When You Have to Show MacGyver How to Disarm a Bomb

Posted by Justin A. Parr on December 5, 2018

Posted in: The Light Side. Leave a Comment

It’s Sad When You Have to Show MacGyver How to Disarm a Bomb

As I’ve previously written, I had high hopes for the 2016 MacGyver reboot.

Unfortunately, where the original show was clever and somewhat educational, the new show simply condenses most of the “MacGyverisms” in to MacGuffinisms, omitting the science, process, and sometimes, even the basic concepts involved.

I’ve been meaning to write an analysis of how poorly the show depicts science and technology, especially computers and computing, and about how half of the crap he builds, simply wouldn’t work.

However, when I watched S3:E9 “Specimen 234 + PAPR + Outbreak”, I saw something so egregious that I couldn’t let it pass without comment.

Having written about bomb myths and cliches, it was difficult to see past the flaws in the opening scene of this episode.

Setup: Mac and Jack are in a steel cage, locked with a lever padlock, to which THIS abomination was affixed (no pun intended):

Mac makes the statement that it would be too difficult to pick the lock without triggering the bomb.

Let’s Take a Closer Look

First impression: Except for the fake “logic board”, which really appears to be some sort of analog IO controller, the bomb appears to be extremely low-tech. There are no (visible) motion triggers, no collapsing circuits, and no false leads. You could probably remove the “logic board” and simply direct-wire all of the other components. You might need a relay if the trigger circuit is normally-closed, and you might need a capacitor to boost the detonating current. With no visible antenna wire, and knowing that the steel cage probably interferes with a radio signal, there is probably no remote trigger.
The MacGuffin board is obviously fake. Aside from the fact that there are data connectors in the lower-left and upper-right edges, the traces on the board itself are too small and fragile to carry a current that would be capable of detonating the blasting cap. Instead, the traces on the board would simply vaporize when triggered. Further, there appear to be two logic chips, one of which appears to be an ASIC. I mean… is this a PROGRAMMABLE BOMB??? Does it run “BOMB Operating System”, and at some point, you plan to upgrade to “BOMBOS 2.0”?
The so-called trigger is a lever padlock. Ostensibly, if you attempt to manipulate the internal locking system, you either interrupt a circuit, or close one, triggering the bomb.

However, lever padlocks are all-metal, and to be clear, the lever-locking mechanism is also metal. So maybe the circuit is normally-open, and perhaps there is a small bit of plastic that will fall out if you fiddle with the lock, allowing a circuit to complete. This is unlikely, as the placement would be tricky, and most likely, the trigger wire would ground out against the lock’s metal body or lever regardless. Moreover, if the circuit is normally-open, you could simply delete the trigger by cutting one of the trigger wires.

Maybe the circuit is normally-closed, and fiddling with the lock will cause the trigger wire to disconnect from the lock’s body, triggering the explosion. Again, this would be tough to do without blowing yourself up by just setting the trigger in place.

In either case, how is their captor supposed to unlock the cage?? Perhaps he disables the bomb, removes the trigger wires, and THEN unlocks the padlock. All of this is too unnecessarily complicated and unreliable. A better approach would be to use a motion trigger, and perhaps a simple, normally-closed loop of wire around the door and frame of the cage, that acts as a secondary trigger if broken while attempting to open the cage door.
The detonator appears to be a blasting cap, embedded in what appears to be a block of soap. Although the blasting cap appears to be real enough, the “explosive” looks strangely translucent-green. My wife says it looks like gel soap wrapped in cellophane, and she’s probably right. Although they obviously can’t and shouldn’t use real explosive, a little effort to make it look realistic would have been appreciated.
The power source appears to be a “AA” battery. If so, it would have insufficient voltage to drive the “logic board”, and insufficient power (current) to detonate the blasting cap.

Maybe the battery is supposed to be a lithium battery, like the type used in photography flash bulbs, or a rechargeable such as the 18650. Both of these can deliver higher voltages and / or higher current over a short duration, which would definitely be sufficient to detonate the blasting cap, but would probably fry the logic board.

Disarming

Since MacGyver can’t seem to figure this out, I’ll give him some help.

Here are several ways that he could disarm this device (in order of difficulty):

Pull out the blasting cap. Because it’s coiled, there is a nice, long lead wire, which would allow you to position the cap far enough from the explosive, that it wouldn’t respond to the cap detonating.

Better yet, put the cap inside the keyhole of the lock, along with a small blob of explosive, and yank the trigger wire in order to blow the lock apart.
Cut the blasting cap’s wires. One at a time. Cutting both simultaneously might allow one of the leads to short to ground, which could detonate the cap.
Cut the leads from the power source. Cut the negative first, then the positive. This prevents the battery from creating a current surge across the negative terminal, if the positive lead is cut first. Although most devices are switched from the positive lead, if the positive lead is cut first, it leaves the negative lead and the circuit ground in contact with each other.
Short the trigger wires across the terminals. This assumes that the circuit is normally-closed, and that there is some voltage flowing through the trigger wire at all times.

Conversely, if the trigger is normally-open, simply cut the trigger wires (one at a time, of course).

Not that he couldn’t easily pick a lever lock in short-order using found tools, but…

Once the bomb is disarmed, the blasting cap could be used to blow up the lock.

Or, they could burn some of the explosive to melt the chain in order to get free, and then rig the rest of the bomb with a tripwire, set to actuate when their captor returns.