Justin A. Parr - Technologist

I’ve been meaning to get my thoughts down for quire some time.

Mrs. ParrTech and I went to Vegas last year for our 30th anniversary.  After having visited Vegas many times previously, I was completely disappointed, and here’s why.

 

Prelude

Vegas has always been sold as an adult playground, where anything goes (for the right price).  In the past, my wife (Mrs. ParrTech) and I visited Vegas and always found it to be a fun and exciting adventure.  Every time we visited Vegas, we found something new / cool / interesting to do, that we had never done before, while enjoying fun things that we have done previously.

Any tourist destination has its ups and downs, and you learn over time what works and what doesn’t.  So a small bump in an otherwise awesome vacation isn’t a negative experience, the bump just helps you learn what NOT to do next time, or how to plan better, etc.

However, on our most recent trip (spring, 2024), all the things we DO LIKE were mostly gone, replaced with things we mostly DO NOT like.

So….I’m going to CRAP ALL OVER VEGAS and encourage you to stay somewhere else, unless you like the things I’m complaining about.

 

Limo

It’s kind of a well-known-secret that the best way to go from airport to hotel is to take a limo.  It was cheap, not much more than a cab ride, and you can arrive in convenience and style.

This time around, it WASN’T cheap, but it WAS all hustle.  Despite the fact that the limo is now $30 or $40 more than a cab ride, we decided to go for it, simply due to the convenience factor.  I don’t know if they are all like this now or not, but here is what I expected:

• Drive up the strip (we arrived late at night, so traffic isn’t a problem)
• Drop us at the hotel

What I got instead…

• 10 minute instruction briefing on how all of the controls work.  Dude….I’m going to be in this limo for 20 minutes….I don’t need to know how to work the lights or whatever.
• He DID drive up the strip, but was technically breaking the rules.  COME ON!  It’s 11 PM local time at night!  So you can’t even “legally” drive up the strip at night, which is honestly one of the most spectacular things you can do.
• Sunroofs are banned.  So….because people are morons and act like idiots, there is actually a law? or policy? that the sunroof can’t be opened.  That sucks because limos actually have a crappy view, and standing up through the sunroof is actually very cool.
• The limo dude INSISTED on giving us a tour.  I was like, really, we’re tired, we just want to check in to the hotel.  Then he kind of talked us in to a ride around The Sphere, and I was like…actually, that’s kind of cool, so OK.  He brushed past The Sphere very quickly, then drove down some shady street for a photo op…I was like HELL NO we’re not getting out of the car here.  Let’s just go to the hotel please.  Then it was 10 more minutes of negotiation and having to decline several more “tour” opportunities.

We took a fast and expedient cab from the hotel to the airport (staying at the Mirage), and the CAB RIDE was 10 times better than the limo.  And had a better view.

Needless to say, the LIMO SUCKED.

 

Food

One of the best things I have always enjoyed about Vegas are those “hidden gem” restaurants where you can get an amazing meal on-the-cheap.

In fact, when we first started visiting Vegas in the late 1990’s, there were still a million places with the $3 steak-and-eggs gamblers’ special.

As time progressed, elevated dining began to appear…..Wolfgang Puck, Gordon Ramsay, Guy Fieri, Mario Batali, and it was nice to have a few fine-dining options, but the mainstay (for us at least) was the long list of Vegas’s unique dining experiences that weren’t “elevated”, they weren’t “name brands”, they just served good food at reasonable prices.

“Fine dining” in Vegas used to be the hotel’s steak house, where you could get a decent surf-and-turf “normal” meal, and you could usually get a coupon for a free meal if you stayed at the hotel.  Now, there are very few “normal” restaurants because of the glut of name-brand, “elevated” restaurants.

In 2024, I challenge you to find ANYTHING that ISN’T “elevated”.  I ate very few meals there that I enjoyed.

In fact, we ate at the worst food court of any mall in America on our last morning in Vegas because that’s all we could find that wasn’t “fancy” or “elevated”, or you had to have reservations for breakfast.  The cafe we had always enjoyed on previous trips?  GONE.  Steak and eggs?  GONE.  Denny’s?  OVER CROWDED because no one wants to eat this foo foo bullcrap food.

Every casino has a 24-hour cafe / diner, but most of those had been stripped down to a basic burger, a hot dog, a sandwich, and maybe a breakfast.  However, instead of a 24-hour menu, most of them only serve breakfast for breakfast now, so if you want a decent breakfast for dinner, forget it.

Sometimes, you just want steak and eggs.

Honestly, one of the best meals I ate was at White Castle, which kind of tells you everything you need to know.

Moreover, many of the restaurants, even the ones at casinos, close at 11 PM.  So if it’s 2 AM and I want some tacos, there are no tacos to be had at 2 AM.  Only the crappy casino cafe food.

So the food in Vegas SUCKS.  (Except for the sushi place, but it was damn expensive)

 

Casinos

When we first started playing in Vegas, we would get a bucket of quarters or a bucket of nickels and play slots all day.  The booze was flowing, we would win a little, maybe lose a little, maybe play roulette for a while, but it was always fun.

Now, the slots just have one big button that should be labeled “lose money”.  I mean…yes, you win a little here or there, but the games are completely limited, and you have to play full … maybe $5 a spin …. to even come close to having a chance, and the experience is no longer fun.

The table games are what they are….they are about the same everywhere.

However, most casinos now have TERRIBLE drink service.  The time before last, Paris and Hollywood had terrible drink service, but we quickly left and found a better option!  In 2024?  ALL of them suck.

Expectation:

• Find a game you like
• Tip the hostess well, and they will remember your beverage and TRACK YOU DOWN
• Have fun and drink for a couple of hours

What I got instead…

• Most of the games suck
• Good luck even getting a free drink
• You might get them to come around a couple of times if you tip well
• Good luck if you wander in to another hostess’s section, which you WILL DO because the games SUCK.

Honestly, I ended up at the bar so many times, I’m surprised my bar bill wasn’t bigger than my hotel bill.

I’ll dive in to Fremont later, but the experience we had on Fremont Street was actually much better than the strip.

The best casinos:

• Caesars
• Bellagio
• Venetian

These still know how to treat people, and they have games where you can actually win.  And you can get a damn drink!

Even worse, some casinos, such as the Monte Carlo (now Park MGM) are smoke-free.  Like….you missed the ENTIRE POINT of a casino.  I want to relax with a cigar, drink some scotch, and gamble.  Why is that a crime?  (Read my complaints about the strip in order to fully comprehend the irony).

So the casinos in Vegas MOSTLY SUCK.

 

The Strip

AKA Las Vegas Boulevard!  Where you can walk around in the cool night air, take in the attractions, and have a blast!

Or at least…that USED to be the case.

Now, the strip is saturated with the smell of skunk weed, and crowded with strollers.

The large, open walkways are mostly replaced with narrow, crowded ones, full of pushy, rude people.  Somehow, maybe due to the “entitlement culture”, people have become completely spatially and socially unaware, and are likewise, easily offended.  Navigating the strip on foot sucks now.

Despite all of the dedicated walkways, most of them are now clogged with strollers, as are the escalators and elevators.

And now, maybe due to the crappy food, there is a significant contingent of unlicensed food vendors in front of every casino.  The food smells amazing, but I wouldn’t touch that crap…not knowing how it was obtained, nor how it was handled, prepared, and stored.  I mean…it could be road kill.  And, no one seems to care.  I didn’t see any food licenses, but I also didn’t see any cops running people off.

As for attractions, I’ll address that later, but there really aren’t very many left.  Only the canal at the Venetian, the fountains at Bellagio, and The Forum at Caesars.

So The Strip SUCKS.

 

Fremont Street Does NOT Suck

We always make (made) it a point to spend at least one night on Fremont Street, which is a spectacle.

The casinos on Fremont have always been a little bit “run down” compared to The Strip, but it was always easy to find free drinks and a good time, and fortunately, not only has that NOT changed, but some of the casinos appear to have been recently renovated.  Unlike the casinos on The Strip, the service was VERY good.

On the street itself, there are lots of character performers who work for tips, and plenty of places to get a frosty beverage, as well as the periodic “Fremont Experience” show, which is a giant LED display above Fremont Street, spanning two blocks.  Every hour or so, they play a couple of short videos, and it’s very cool.  Even though I’ve seen some of the content on our previous trips, it’s still very cool.

There used to be some really neat restaurants on Fremont, and unfortunately, like the rest of Vegas, those appear to be gone now.

Catching a taxi to / from the strip is super easy.

All in all, Fremont Street DOES NOT suck.

 

 

The Baseball Stadium

Some moron got the brilliant idea to build a baseball stadium at the south end of the strip, at the south-east intersection of Tropicana and Las Vegas Blvd, next to the airport, on the former site of the Tropicana hotel.

Although the Tropicana itself was rather dated, in order for a stadium on the Las Vegas Strip to be commercially successful, Vegas has had to re-brand itself as family friendly tourist destination.  In doing so, it is desperately trying to erase its “sin city” image, replaced with a family-friendly veil … just ignore the prolific skunk weed, bums, criminals, unlicensed food vendors, gangs, billboard trucks with 9 foot tall naked females, and you know….all the other STUFF.

Now, as a so-called family-friendly destination, you literally can’t walk down the strip without tripping over a stroller.

In the past, there were always a few kids around, and everyone did their best to be respectful.  Now “sin city” has kids all over the place, and if you want to smoke, drink, or gamble, or ….use adult language…. YOU are the bad guy.

As a parent myself, I can’t imaging taking a baby or toddler out on the strip sit there in a stroller and inhale skunk weed.  Even worse, some kids were NOT confined to a stroller, literally running around free-range on the Las Vegas Strip.  Again, I can’t imagine the thought process.

So, because some moron decided to build a stadium on the strip, The Strip SUCKS now.

Seriously…you know where you could build a stadium?  In the crap hole desolation land between The Stratosphere and Fremont.  You could offer free shuttle service to and from the stadium, or even extend the existing, crappy monorail.  In fact, it would revitalize an entire area of Vegas that is only currently known for the pawn shop from the show, “Pawn Stars”.  In fact, this is an area that Vegas has been trying to revitalize for at least 2 decades.

But no…you had to destroy the strip by building a stadium on one of the busiest parts.

 

Hidden Perils

There were always perils in Vegas.  Bad areas of town, sketchy tourist stops, and it’s well-known that wandering off the strip is ill-advised.

If you’re careful, ask questions, and follow the guidelines, you could always remain safe while having a good time.  And, the town catered to tourists, so as a tourist, if you accidentally bent the rules a little bit, the worst you might expect is a warning from the many, friendly cops.

Now, there are so many hidden “traps” that I question why Vegas even pretends to want tourists.

• The crime rate is ridiculous.  On previous trips, you were more or less safe as long as you stuck to the strip or the main areas of Fremont.  Now, however, you could easily get robbed right on the strip!  There are plenty of areas without a clear line of sight, and apparently, the cops don’t patrol everywhere.  Also, apparently, people even shoot each other right on the strip!  So….. good luck!
• If you stop on an elevated walkway, you can get arrested.  NOT a ticket.  ARRESTED.  There are no signs posted.  You just “have to know this”, so I guess I’m lucky we didn’t get arrested.  Unlicensed food vendors….no problem. Hundreds of people smoking skunk weed on the strip in proximity to children… no problem.  BUT HOW DARE YOU STOP ON AN ELEVATED WALKWAY.
• You used to be able to go in to one of the shops on Fremont, buy a tall boy, and no one cared.  NOW, apparently, that will get you a fine.  As the shop keeper vigorously warned me.  So I can go buy an overpriced drink, 30 feet away at one of the greedy outdoor bars, but I can’t buy a cold beer from a store.  Great job.
• It’s illegal for cabs to stop on the strip.  This has always been a thing, but now it’s super-strict.  On previous trips, if you tip the guy, he would duck in to a side street and let you out pretty much wherever.  Now, however, they will ONLY drop you off at the back of one of the hotels.  And apparently, not only can THE CAB DRIVER get a ticket, YOU can get a ticket for this as well.  This limits the ad-hoc “fun” factor, where you might see something interesting and go do it.
• Jaywalking is now much more strictly-enforced.  Once upon a time, no one cared.  Now, however, unless you use the elevated walkways, you need to be extremely careful crossing Las Vegas Blvd.  If you walk against the light, even with no traffic, you might get a jaywalking ticket.  Same deal with Fremont Street.
• You can’t carry drinks in or out of certain places.  Once upon a time, The Strip and Fremont Street were green-light drinking zones.  Now, you will be sternly told that you can’t carry drinks in to or out of most casinos or bars.  Also, most cabs used to let you carry drinks with you, but now, most cabs are drink-free zones.

If I intentionally do something stupid, I’m at least partially to blame.  But being able to just accidentally fall in to one of these newbie traps puts a serious damper on the fun atmosphere.

The fact that you might get robbed, fined, jailed, or shot through no fault of your own SUCKS.

 

Very Few Free Activities

Once upon a time, there were all sorts of free or cheap shows and activities at most of the casinos on the strip.

• Pirate show at TI (CLOSED)
• Gardens at Mirage (The Mirage is now CLOSED)
• Tiger habitat at the Mirage (The Mirage is now CLOSED)
• Volcano at Mirage (GONE)
• The bird habitat at Tropicana (The Tropicana is now a stadium)

There are still some cool things to see / do for free, but the list is about half as long:

• Fountains at Bellagio
• Canals at Venetian
• Circus at Circus Circus
• Gardens (and other cool stuff) at Bellagio
• The Fall of Atlantis and Aquarium at Caesar’s Forum
• Animal Habitat at Flamingo

Other than The Sphere, which is NOT on The Strip, there really isn’t anything new.

On previous visits, there used to be new / cool things to see, and now it’s just the same old, stale stuff, but only about half of it.

So…the Cool Factor SUCKS.

 

Other Transportation

Here is a list of Transportation that DOES NOT work well:

• The hotels suggest the Las Vegas metro bus as a viable method of transportation, but the bus sucks.  It always HAS sucked.
• There is a monorail behind the hotels on the east side of The Strip, spanning MGM to The Sands (near Circus-Circus and The Strat), however, the monorail has many problems.  Honestly, the monorail is so terrible, I almost made its own entire section.
  • It’s not free.  You can get a trip pass or an all-day pass, but the all-day pass isn’t cheap.
  • I’ts not convenient because it’s usually a long walk from The Strip to access one of the stations.
  • The stations aren’t conveniently located.
  • The schedule isn’t convenient nor frequent, so if you don’t arrive at the right time, you must wait.
  • OH, and, “The Sands” hotel hasn’t been there in almost 2 decades, and, even though it’s still listed as a stop ON THE MONORAIL WEBSITE, the stop at The Sands has been closed for 2 decades.
• There are various “free” shuttle busses, but they are difficult to catch and not very convenient.
• There are elevated walkways across most of the major intersections, but most are now clogged with strollers.  Also, in the past, you might see one or two escalators that were non-functional, but now it seems that almost half were out of order, and without the escalators to regulate traffic, the walkways become impossibly clogged.

Transportation that DOES work well:

• The cabs are the most convenient option, as they have always been.  However, most won’t let you take a drink with you now, so drink up before you hop in.
• There are free trams that connect various hotels, such as the one from Bellagio, through Aria, to Park MGM (formerly the Monte Carlo), or the one connecting Excalibur, Luxor, and Mandalay Bay.
• There are internal walkways between many of the hotels, as well, for example, (again) connecting Excalibur to Luxor and Mandalay Bay, Venetian to Pallazo, or the Horseshoe to Paris.  These are quick and easy ways to enjoy the air conditioning while wandering from one adventure to the next.

The best way to travel around the strip is still to catch a cab.  However, if you have a good mental map of where they are and how they connect, taking a tram or using internal walkways is a great time saver.

On the one hand, the travel options haven’t gotten any worse, but on the other hand, they haven’t gotten any better.  For example, some kind of free shuttle service between The Strip and Fremont has been discussed for decades, but has never materialized.

Travel on The Strip is what it is.

 

Conclusion

Vegas 2024 SUCKS.

• Other than taking a cab, the transportation is crappy
• The food sucks
• The casinos suck
• The meager list of free / cheap attractions sucks
• Building a stadium on the strip sucks
• The ubiquitous smell of skunk weed sucks
• The crime sucks
• The hidden traps suck

If I was to re-visit Vegas, which I doubt I will ever do again, I would stay downtown at one of the hotel-casinos on Fremont.  All in all, we had a much better experience downtown than we did on The Strip.